There’s a phrase I like to use in my loving kindness meditations “May you be free”. It means free from all danger inner and outer, free from all labels and barriers and fears. I have thought a lot about what it means to be free. I can’t say I always grasp it but when I meditate on those words I imagine the feeling.
It feels like open air. It’s at once joyful and calm. It’s strong but egoless. It’s pure presence and it’s where I want to see myself as I grow in this world. Feeling trapped has been a cage of my own making. I don’t want to live there any longer. I have this moment on earth and I want to soak it up. There is no room for anything else.
A clarity around freedom formed out of my personal challenges. As I watched my friends pure presence in the moments he lived as cancer took his body over, I saw freedom. When I would walk, hurting with every step, I was brought into the freedom of that moment and acutely aware that none of us knows how many more moments we have left on this earth. I began to value these moments and the ability we have to use all our senses to immerse ourselves in the magic that is living in our own bodies on this earth.
I am grateful for every day, even if it’s a bad one. I’m grateful to know the swell of love from the people that surround me and even the painful learning when someone leaves. I’m fascinated by change weather it be in seasons, in moods or in body. I’m amazed at the visions my eyes get to dazzle on. I’m grateful to remember through each inhale, weather it be the smell of cookies baking or the smell of a sick bed. I’m forever awed that I can be taken away by the sound of a violin or the thump of a drum. I’m grateful to the feel the wind on my face or the pain of an injury.
All of this means I’m here. I’m ALL THE WAY HERE, right NOW and NOW and NOW. Living this life to it’s fullest and taking it all in. That’s freedom.